Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Guess what; you're not going to win the Mega Millions tonight

And that's probably a good thing...
Hey, guess what, everybody – you're not going to win the lottery tonight!

In case you've somehow avoided all the hoopla, tonight there is a Mega Millions lottery drawing – $355 million! – that your chances of winning are so infinitesimal as to be virtually nonexistent.

Not that it hasn't been fun reading about the dreams of random deluded people quoted in lottery-hype stories. We get it: You'd buy yourself some nice things, provide for your family, maybe donate to charity (or, as the case may be, burn money in front of poor children).

So let's say you win big (again, not going to happen) and get that hefty lump sum. Is it all it's cracked up to be?

The site Business Pundit has a rundown of 10 of the most surprising examples of post-lottery meltdown, and, coincidentally or not, two of them involve people from our humble state. One, a machinist named Kenneth Proxmire, won $1 million in the Michigan Lottery in 1977 and tried to open a chain of sporting-goods stores in California, only to fail and wind up in bankruptcy. In 1989, a man named Willie Hurt won $3.1 million in the Michigan Lottery, and within two years had blown his new fortune on crack cocaine and lost his wife and kids.

That's just Michigan. Other stories include those of the lottery-winning man whose brother tried paying to have him killed, the guy who was so bored with his new fortune that he went back to work at McDonald's, the Texas farming community that fell into ruin after 43 of its residents became overnight lottery millionaires and the man who committed suicide within two years of winning a $31 million jackpot. Then there's Jack Whittaker, whose $315 million windfall in 2002 resulted in the drug-related deaths of his granddaughter and her boyfriend and provides the origin of the phrase “lottery curse.”
Read the rest here.

Full disclosure (lest I be accused of hypocrisy); yes, I have bought an occasional lottery ticket. So I am not judging anyone. Just be sure that at least one part of your brain remains firmly anchored in the real world and you understand that no, you are not going to win. Think of it as cheap entertainment (cheaper than a movie ticket) that allows for a little daydreaming. And remember that there is no statistically significant change in your odds if you drop a buck or $100. You get the exact same day dream and you are still not going to win. The only difference is that we are no longer talking about cheap entertainment. We are now talking about either compulsive gambling or a delusional belief that you might actually be "that guy." (Kinda the same thing?)

On the extremely off chance that someone reading this has the good (or mis-) fortune of being statistically struck by lightning (repeatedly and in the same place) and is inclined to point it out to me... Yes, I will eat crow, for a price. :-)

8 comments:

mjl said...

I didn't buy a ticket, but used to buy them all the time. I once one a $100 and it was right before visiting a religious order. God has a weird sense of humor.

David Garner said...

Speak for yourself -- I have the winning ticket right here.









Oh, okay, I didn't buy a ticket. And if I did, figuring out how to properly utilize the money and not drive myself and all my family either crazy or straight to hell would be a real concern. That kind of money solves a lot of problems, but it creates a whole lot more than it solves. Especially when it's dropped in your lap instead of earned over time.

Anonymous said...

Oh come on admit it. You bought a ticket.

John (Ad Orientem) said...

David,
I think you make some sound points. Found money, especially in any large amount creates a lot of issues. I often hear people who say that if they won the lottery that it would not change them. That's simply naive. Anyone who goes from being a working class stiff worrying about bills and a mortgage to nine figures in the bank (after taxes) overnight is going to have some adjustments to make. Even if you give every dime away, it will change your life in ways you can't control. No one will ever look at you the same.

In ICXC
John

John (Ad Orientem) said...

Anonymous,
Don't bother me right now. I'm busy designing my yacht, before it disappears overnight. :-)

sjgmore said...

I actually have a really bad habit of fantasizing, with some regularity, about what I would do if I won the lottery.

Which is precisely why I never play... It would be a major obsession for me.

There are worse things I could daydream about, I guess.

Anam Cara said...

Years ago, Andy Rooney did an newspaper piece about a guy who bought a lottery ticket. I'll never forget the end of the story.

The guy didn't have a lot of money, stopped at a 7-11 or something like that for coffee and decided to buy a $10 ticket which he couldn't afford, because he thought winning would solve his problems.

Andy Rooney followed him through the day. It was a pretty bad day - I think he worked for a glass company and broke a huge sheet of glass which he then had to pay for. I seem to remember something about goldfish dying. Car broke down or there was an accident in the company vehicle - things he was responsible for paying for. All in all a really bad day. But then, at the end of the day, they drew the lottery numbers and he didn't win.

I've never bought a ticket since then.

The Archer of the Forest said...

I always remember from George Orwell's 1984 that lottery tickets were the opiate of the blue collar people. I never have cared for lotteries ever since.

And for the record I can honestly say that I have never bought a lottery ticket.