Thursday, August 18, 2011

How bad is it really?

  • Banks are now sending out pre-declined credit card notices
  • When I hit the drive thru the other day the kid in the window asked me "can you afford fries with this?"
  • The latest big business deals are now being made on the 18th hole at Bert's mini-golf.
  • If your bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds" you have to call them to clarify whether they meant you or the bank.
  • Stock prices are higher for Hot Wheels and Matchbox than GM.
  • Parents in Beverly Hills and Hollywood are firing their nannies and learning their kids' names.
  • A truckload of Americans were caught trying to sneak into Mexico.
  • Dick Cheney took his broker hunting.
  • Motel Six is no longer leaving the light on for you.
  • The Mob is laying off judges.
  • Congress is investigating Bernie Madoff.  Yes, that's right.  The man who made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the men who made $15 trillion disappear.
  • A buddy was so depressed about the state of the country and the economy that he called the suicide prevention line.  He was connected to a call center in Pakistan.  When he told them he was having suicidal thoughts they got very excited and asked if he could drive a truck.

7 comments:

Proskomen said...

Most are funny, but I think the last one is in poor taste.

LV said...

I agree about the last one. Otherwise funny because right on the edge of truth!

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed them all. Bill, tGf

Anonymous said...

The final one probably is in poor taste (along with the one about Dick-the-trigger Cheney). But I laughed out loud anyway.

Thank you, I needed this kind of humor right now...

Anastasia Theodoridis said...

Yeah, the one in poor taste was the best!

Visibilium said...

God has graced me with an abundance of poor taste, and I thought that the last one was the best, followed by #6.

LV said...

Ok, maybe I need to take back my earlier comment. Shared the last one with family members and they "about fell out" laughing as we say down South.