Friday, February 08, 2019

God Agrees To Spare Virginia If Just 10 Democrats Who Never Wore Blackface or a KKK Hood Can Be Found

VIRGINIA—In a statement issued from on high, the Almighty has agreed to spare the state of Virginia from His imminent wrath if state officials can locate just ten Democrats who never wore blackface or a KKK costume at some point in their lives.

God had announced His plan to immediately destroy Virginia, but Democrat leaders quickly begged him to spare the state if they could locate just 50 Democrats who never dressed in blackface. Being unable to do so, they managed to get the Lord to reduce the requirement to 40, then 30, then 20, and finally just 10.

Virginians' relief, however, quickly turned to panic as Democrat lawmakers announced they couldn't find a single leftist politician who hadn't dressed in a horrifically racist costume in their college years. They thought they found one but he was accused of sexual assault and so didn't count.

The state's citizens immediately began gathering their things and fleeing for other states, being careful not to look back.



123 said...

And because He is a merciful God, He didn't bother expecting even 10 of VA Republicans.

No one would be surprised when it comes to racism in the closets of those in the Republican Party in the South today. (The sexual assault allegations would be shocking, because the official image of the Republican Party is one of traditional sexual mores despite all the scandals to the contrary.)

However, when considering those who grew up in the old Southern Democratic party and those Southern Democrats and Dixiecrats Nixon evangelized and converted to Republicans in his Southern Strategy, one is reminded of the parable of the two sons:

“What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first
and said, ‘Son, go and work today in the vineyard.’
“ ‘I will not,’ he answered, but later he changed his mind and went. 29
“Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered,
‘I will, sir,’ but he did not go.
“Which of the two did what his father wanted?”
“The first,” they answered.

The Anti-Gnostic said...

The notion that Republican men have some secret thug-life assaulting women is either projection or lurid fantasy on your part. As for racism, I doubt they're any more racist than the typical suburban housewife who tells her friends they moved there for the "good school district."

The whole blackface stuff seems to be an upper bourgeois fraternity activity. Most people were not in the Greek system in college.

BorisJojicj said...

The fact that someone can be held accountable for some foolishness 35 years after the fact smacks of Stalinism at it's worst. I invite people to read Solzhenitsyn's " Gulag Archipelago." One example, two brothers crossed into Poland in the 1920's when the borders may not even have determined.Later the Soviets occupied that territory, after they divided up Poland with Hitler in 1939.
Later, after Hitler's defeat and the end of WWII, the brothers were convicted of violating the laws of the Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Republic! Even though, when they crossed into Poland 25 or so years earlier, that part of Western Ukraine WAS Poland. I suggest reading Solzhenitsyn now, because the Gulag is coming here. We are just seeing the beginning.